So, went to a super fancy restaurant yesterday. One of those places that charge like $40 and give you a huge plate and the food looks like a decoration. Anyways, I didn’t know it was fancy. Everyone else was in suits and dress shirts…. we came in with jeans and sweaters. LMAO. And to make it worse, we were the only asians there… Oh well.
This is going to come off really bitchy and hypocritical, but I don’t care.
There are so many things with birthdays I will never understand or accept.
Honestly, I’m not the type that wants a day to celebrate myself. I don’t see why we should go all out on one day of the year, but not the rest. I’d rather just have fun everyday and make the most out of my life. I love hanging out with the people I care about, no matter what day it is. For me, my birthday is more of a day to hang out with people that matter to me, not to celebrate for myself. As much as I love the gifts and love, why does this have to come on a specified date? Random presents on random days of the year, mean so much more than birthday presents will ever mean.
Also, I feel kinda awkward when people wish me a happy birthday. I don’t really know what it means. Why should I celebrate the day that I popped out of a birth canal? I realize it signifies a day of getting older, of maturing, but how am I any older than I was yesterday? Plus, wishing someone a happy birthday has become so meaningless in today’s society.
That’s my biggest issue with birthdays, actually. I hate that people that would normally never talk to you, say hbd to me. It’s not that I don’t want to associate with them or that I think that I’m better than them in any way, but why has everything in society become so meaningless? When people say hbd or that they “hope you have a good day”, I doubt that they actually give a shit how your day ends up. It has become almost a greeting rather than anything meaningful. That’s why I never tell people when it’s my birthday. It has become instinct for people to automatically wish you a hbd when they hear that. It doesn’t mean shit to them, it’s just words.
And when they are just saying words due to societal norms, why should I say thank you for that? I am not thankful that you repeated the words that society dictates you to say.
On top of that, I can’t figure out whether people genuinely care, or if they are just being nice because it’s my bday. I want genuine, not fake. I want people to stick around because they want to, not because they have to.
Of course, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. I am always thankful of everything I have. I love you guys, and it makes me incredibly happy that we get to spend the day together. I had an amazing day, no doubt. I love celebrating and getting together. I love that it gives me an excuse to get together and party. I am truly blessed with all the support and love that I get. Of course I like being treated well, but not if I’m being treated well because of what the date is. All I ask is that if you care, that you’re there for me. If you don’t care, then fuck off. LOL jk, but seriously, if we are just acquaintances, then say things because you mean them, not because that’s what everyone else is saying.
Also, I realize how incredibly hypocritical this sounds. I wish everyone a hbd on fb just because. But the way I see it, if they have their bday posted, then they want people to wish them a hbd so that they feel loved by many people whether those ppl care or not. They will have a better day if more people post on their wall. Therefore, my useless contribution will actually make them feel better about themselves. That’s the main point of it, right? I realize everyone is different, everyone has different views and hobbies. I understand that many people love the idea of celebrating and being the center of attention. I have nothing against this, it’s just not my idea of something to celebrate about.
It’s true. I made mistakes. You made mistakes. It was just a bad time for both of us.
The difference is, I apologized, I tried to make it work, you didn’t want to keep it going, so I moved on. I always wanted you to do well. You always wanted me to do poorly.
But I was impatient and rude. I could only tolerate so much. I say things on impulse because I’m not the type to let anyone take advantage of me. I admit, I’m a bitch. I know that. I know that I offended you. We went over this already. We did the whole apology thing, and all you did was break down and cry. You didn’t even apologize.
I don’t hold grudges, though. Mostly because I honestly can’t remember what happened. But there are some things I will never forget. The things you said that day, how meaningless you made us feel. After all those years, we were literally nothing. I realize that was your anger speaking, but if you can’t stand behind what you say, then what is there to believe?
I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t miss the times we had together, but I don’t regret my decision to move on. You aren’t a bad person. We just have differences now, differences that neither of us can get past. It’s okay, though. You are a stranger to me, and you will always be that to me. Honestly, I don’t want you in my life anymore. I thought I did, but that was only circumstantial: the pressure of proximity, really.
I miss the times we couldn’t stop laughing. I miss the times we would talk about stupid things that no one else would understand. I miss that people were always so jealous of how much fun we were having. I miss talking to you day in and day out, always having something to talk about. It was a good couple of years.
…but I like my life without you better. I like not having to always try to boost your mood because you were always so emo. I like not hearing about you brag about everything. I like that I don’t have to pull myself down to make you happier. I like that I don’t have to hear about your insignificant complaints. I like that I don’t have to prove to you that I was your friend. I like that I don’t have to hate everyone because you do.
I learned a lot from you, so thank you. There are still some things I want to say to you though, mostly that I’m sorry. I wish you knew the truth about some things, but what does it matter now? Either way, we’ve parted ways. Have a good life. Goodbye =)
My days have only been getting better and better. So incredibly thankful; I’ve been so incredibly happy.
So, hilarious story #1. I was holding the door for 2 of my friends. First friend gets through the door, and I assumed my 2nd friend was holding the door. Turns out she wasn’t. The doors are really heavy, so it like slammed in her face. LMFAOOO
Instead of saying sorry, I instinctively bent over and started bursting out laughing… Just in time for my first friend to like ass rape me as I bent over. LOL
So, hilarious story #2. We went for wings, right? Well, my friend had to go to the washroom. She saw a group of guys and was trying to be all sexy as she walked by. Turns out she had wing sauce all over her face. LMFAO.
So excited for halloween weekend. =) Still need a costume tho =(….